{"id":344,"date":"2013-07-25T10:42:41","date_gmt":"2013-07-25T10:42:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/?p=344"},"modified":"2013-07-25T10:42:41","modified_gmt":"2013-07-25T10:42:41","slug":"despre-emotii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/2013\/07\/25\/despre-emotii\/","title":{"rendered":"Despre emo\u021bii"},"content":{"rendered":"

Am vorbit despre acest subiect in diverse r\u00e2nduri. \u00a0\u00cen esen\u021b\u0103, totul se rezum\u0103 la faptul \u2013 pe care mult\u0103 lume \u00eel accept\u0103, \u00eel predic\u0103, \u00eel promoveaz\u0103 dar pe care are dificultate de a-l implementa \u2013 c\u0103 emo\u021biile negative sunt mai puternice dec\u00e2t cele pozitive. \u00cen englez\u0103, popular, se spune simplu \u201cTrebuie zece fapte bune pentru a \u0219terge amintirea unei fapte rele<\/em>\u201d. Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 a existat o analiz\u0103 riguroas\u0103 \u00eend\u0103r\u0103tul acestui raport \u0219i totu\u0219i, pentru cei ce se auto-analizeaz\u0103, este cert c\u0103 e destul de aproape de adev\u0103r.<\/span><\/p>\n

Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 meditez la acest subiect dup\u0103 ce am realizat ceva oarecum banal dar, ca multe alte lucruri, obturat vederii noastre de la firul ierbii: \u00eentr-un cuplu, este mai important sa \u00eempar\u021bi antipatii comune dec\u00e2t simpatii comune<\/strong>. Este \u00eenc\u0103 un argument c\u0103 g\u00e2ndirea negativ\u0103 are preceden\u021b\u0103 asupra celei pozitive. Degeaba ai\u00a0 multe \u00een comun cu partenera\/partenerul \u00a0dac\u0103 nu \u201eur\u0103\u0219ti<\/em>\u201d acelea\u0219i lucruri. Nu este posibil\u0103 sau probabil\u0103 o suprapunere perfect\u0103 a gusturilor\/atitudinilor\/antipatiilor. C\u00e2nd \u00eens\u0103 aceste antipatii devin lucru cunoscut, ar trebui s\u0103 devin\u0103 \u201ezona minat\u0103<\/em>\u201d \u00een rela\u021bie, acel t\u0103r\u00e2m emo\u021bional \u00een care am\u00e2ndoi evit\u0103 s\u0103 intre.<\/p>\n

Exemplu<\/strong>: Este ok s\u0103-\u021bi plac\u0103 un anumit gen de muzic\u0103 dar, dac\u0103 celuilalt \u00eei displace profund, mi se pare \u00een\u021belept s\u0103-l ascul\u021bi la c\u0103\u0219ti. Nu te g\u00e2ndi c\u0103, \u00een timp, cealalt\u0103 persoana va \u00eencepe s\u0103 iubeasc\u0103 muzica ta \u2013 idiosincraziile, antipatiile se ad\u00e2ncesc cu trecerea v\u00e2rstei, nu se tempereaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

Vorbind de simpatii \u0219i antipatii, mi se pare o gre\u0219eal\u0103 de esen\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 te asociezi cu ceea ce cel\u0103lalt ur\u0103\u0219te. Dac\u0103, s\u0103 spunem, ai un prieten\/prieten\u0103 pe care cel\u0103lalt o dispre\u021buie\u0219te \u2013 din motive obiective, subiective – \u0219i c\u0103ruia\/c\u0103reia tu \u00eei g\u0103se\u0219ti scuze \u0219i calit\u0103\u021bi suficiente pentru a men\u021bine o rela\u021bie, e o idee bun\u0103 s\u0103 nu \u00eei aduci prea des \u00een discu\u021bie \u0219i, mai ales, s\u0103 nu-i \u201ebagi pe g\u00e2t<\/em>\u201d partenerului. Asta nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 acea rela\u021bie trebuie oprit\u0103 \u2013 cred de asemeni \u00een libertatea individual\u0103 armonizat\u0103 cu binele comun \u2013 ci doar trebuie mascat\u0103, f\u0103cut\u0103 mai discret pentru c\u0103 altfel risc\u0103m s\u0103 ne identific\u0103m cu ceea ce cel\u0103lalt ur\u0103\u0219te.<\/p>\n

Emo\u021bia este, \u00een anumite cazuri, \u0219i al meu este un asemenea caz bun de studiu, mai puternic\u0103 dec\u00e2t ra\u021biunea. Ra\u021bional \u00een\u021beleg c\u0103 dac\u0103 prietena mea alege s\u0103 aib\u0103 o amic\u0103\/amic de moravuri u\u0219oare, nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 automat c\u0103-i \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219e\u0219te viziunea ci numai c\u0103 acea persoan\u0103 are destule calit\u0103\u021bi ca s\u0103 justifice o rela\u021bie. \u0218i totu\u0219i… am constatat c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd partenera mea nu se distan\u021ba de acele tr\u0103s\u0103turi negative, c\u00e2nd, poate \u00een numele diploma\u021biei, lua ap\u0103rarea acelor tr\u0103s\u0103turi, clocoteam \u0219i ra\u021bionalitatea mea se evapora \u2013 cel pu\u021bin pentru moment. Am realizat atunci c\u0103 mi-a\u0219 fi dorit nu ca prietena mea s\u0103-\u0219i distrug\u0103 rela\u021biile sociale ci, pur \u0219i simplu, s\u0103 ocoleasc\u0103 relat\u0103rile legate de acea persoan\u0103.<\/p>\n

M-am blamat adesea c\u0103 sunt at\u00e2t de implicat, at\u00e2t de emo\u021bional \u00eenc\u00e2t subiectivismul emo\u021biilor \u00eemi trop\u0103ie complet luciditatea. Apoi, am observat c\u0103 majoritatea dintre noi suntem f\u0103cu\u021bi la fel. Creierul \u00eemi spune c\u0103 \u201eacel ce nu este \u00eempotriva ta, este cu tine<\/em>\u201d dar stomacul m\u0103 for\u021beaz\u0103 s\u0103 cred c\u0103 \u201eacel ce nu este cu tine este \u00eempotriva ta<\/em>\u201d. [ Uite astfel, am ajuns s\u0103-mi iubesc creierul \u0219i s\u0103-mi ur\u0103sc stomacul ].<\/p>\n

Bunul mers al unei rela\u021bii are nevoie de o strategie. Dragostea ajut\u0103 enorm dar a te bizui numai pe dragoste este lipsit de chibzuin\u021b\u0103. Am n\u0103scocit c\u00e2ndva defini\u021bia aceasta: dragostea este suma pl\u0103cerilor avute \u0219i scontate<\/i>. Av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere puterea de \u201e1 la 10\u201d a emo\u021biilor negative fa\u021b\u0103 de cele pozitive, evitarea primelor este, poate, cel mai important pas \u00een colectarea de durat\u0103 a acestor pl\u0103ceri.<\/p>\n

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Am vorbit despre acest subiect in diverse r\u00e2nduri. \u00a0\u00cen esen\u021b\u0103, totul se rezum\u0103 la faptul \u2013 pe care mult\u0103 lume \u00eel accept\u0103, \u00eel predic\u0103, \u00eel promoveaz\u0103 dar pe care are dificultate de a-l implementa \u2013 c\u0103 emo\u021biile negative sunt mai puternice dec\u00e2t cele pozitive. \u00cen englez\u0103, popular, se spune simplu \u201cTrebuie zece fapte bune pentru…<\/span><\/p>\n

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