{"id":250,"date":"2012-08-15T01:04:01","date_gmt":"2012-08-15T01:04:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/?p=250"},"modified":"2012-08-15T01:04:26","modified_gmt":"2012-08-15T01:04:26","slug":"back-in-black","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/2012\/08\/15\/back-in-black\/","title":{"rendered":"Back in Black"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">Da, deciziile mele nu \u0163in mult. Sunt pe fundul butoiului \u015fi str<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u00e2<\/span>ng drojdia. M-am temut s<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u0103<\/span> postez asta&#8230; dar mi-am amintit c<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u0103<\/span> acest blog este al meu, numai al meu <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>i fac ce vreau <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>i pot cu el. Da, voi redenumi acest blog <strong>Blogul Romanului Deprimat <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>i Deprimant<\/strong>.<!--more--><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">Azi conduceam in spatele unei ma<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>ini. Un el <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>i o ea, probabil trecu<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u0163<\/span>i de 50. Ea <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>i-a <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u00ee<\/span>ntins m<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u00e2<\/span>na pe care str<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u0103<\/span>lucea un inel <span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u015f<\/span>i i-a m<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u00e2<\/span>ng<span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">\u00e2iat ceafa, privindu-l cu fa\u0163a aplecat\u0103 spre el. La radio, parc\u0103 sincronizat cu gestul ei, pe <em>The Blend<\/em>, a venit Journey, <a title=\"After All These Years\" href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Ea7xQbLL9mw\" target=\"_blank\">After All These Years<\/a>. Brusc m-au lovit toate. \u00centr-o secund\u0103 mi-a trecut prin minte ace\u015fti ultimi 5 ani. Privat de trecut, m-am ag\u0103\u0163at de viitoruri menite s\u0103-mi construiasc\u0103 trecuturi pe care s\u0103 le rememorez cu asemenea melodii de recapitulare. Viitoruri care s-au pr\u0103bu\u015fit a\u015fa cum au \u00eenceput, ca ni\u015fte vise pu\u0163in g\u00e2ndite. Mi-am amintit de perdeaua de lacrimi amare prin care am condus de at\u00e2tea ori, \u00eenso\u0163it de melodii triste \u015fi de&#8230; ne\u00eemplinire. Am visat, am sperat, am umblat cu inima \u00een palme, \u015fi m-am \u0163inut cu din\u0163ii de ce am crezut c\u0103 e corect, sper\u00e2nd \u2013 de\u015fi nu sunt religios (dar sunt naiv) \u2013 c\u0103 acolo Sus, cineva observ\u0103 aceste str\u0103duin\u0163e \u015fi va binecuv\u00e2nta una din aceste \u00eencerc\u0103ri.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">A\u015f putea spune, ca \u00een trecut, c\u0103 toate aceste deprim\u0103ri care m\u0103 \u00eencearc\u0103 sunt doar ni\u015fte dezechilibre chimice. Nu \u015ftiu, dar ceva pare diferit. Nu, nu mi-am pierdut pofta de m\u00e2ncare \u2013 de fapt m\u0103 \u00eengra\u015f&#8230; \u015fi nici nu-mi pas\u0103. Fumez mult \u015fi r\u0103m\u00e2n f\u0103r\u0103 respira\u0163ie, tu\u015fesc. \u00cen fiecare sear\u0103 m\u0103 t\u00e2r\u0103sc spre pat cu timpul irosit \u00een fa\u0163a TV-ului, g\u0103sindu-mi scuze pentru c\u0103 nu mai fac sport, promi\u0163\u00e2ndu-mi c\u0103 m\u00e2ine voi re\u00eencepe ba chiar m\u0103 voi \u015fi l\u0103sa de fumat. Dar \u015ftiu c\u0103 sunt minciuni, \u015ftiu c\u0103 m\u0103 refer la un m\u00e2ine la fel de eluziv c\u0103 m\u00e2inele fericirii mele. Nu-mi mai pas\u0103, acesta este un fapt. Oric\u00e2t a\u015f \u00eencerca s\u0103 m\u0103 p\u0103c\u0103lesc, oric\u00e2t m\u0103 m\u00e2ng\u00e2i cu laudele prietenilor care \u00eemi spun c\u0103-s perseverent c\u0103ut\u00e2ndu-mi fericirea, \u015ftiu c\u0103 sunt o p\u0103c\u0103leal\u0103. <strong>Pas\u0103rea Phoenix a ars de-a binelea.<\/strong> Arat\u0103 precum curcanul de Thanksgiving uitat \u00een cuptor de o so\u0163ie care s-a \u00eemb\u0103tat dup\u0103 ce-a fost p\u0103r\u0103sit\u0103 de b\u0103rbat.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">Da, poate c\u0103 fericirea e acolo, poate c\u0103 m\u0103 a\u015fteapt\u0103 cuminte \u015fi bun\u0103, un um\u0103r de femeie, ACEA femeie, nu una oarecare, pe care s\u0103-l s\u0103rut la culcare, noapte de noapte, o fericire mediocr\u0103 \u015fi totu\u015fi excep\u0163ional\u0103 \u00een acel moment c\u00e2nd ea \u00eemi m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie ceafa \u00een timp ce conduc. Da, poate c\u0103 e acolo \u015fi m\u0103 a\u015fteapt\u0103&#8230; Merg prin ac\u0163iuni \u2013 ferchezuiesc casa ca s-o v\u00e2nd, s\u0103 plec, s-o mai caut \u2013 dar \u015fi asta e o minciuna. \u00cen sinea mea \u015ftiu c\u0103 eu caut doar un cimitir unde s\u0103-mi sap o groap\u0103. \u015ei dac-a\u015f \u00eent\u00eelni-o, aceast\u0103 fericire cu ce-a\u015f hr\u0103ni-o, cu ce-a\u015f \u0163ine-o l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine\u00a0?! Cu analize, cu umbrele amare ale at\u00e2tor dezam\u0103giri, cu suspiciuni \u015fi lec\u0163ii inutile imprimate \u00een memorie. \u00cencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 previn\u0103 catastrofa, mintea mea s-a obi\u015fnuit s\u0103 trianghiuleze, s\u0103 calculeze, s\u0103 analizeze&#8230; \u015fi de fapt via\u0163a e aleatoare, n-are nici un sens \u015fi catastrofele sau \u00eemplinirile nu \u0163in de nici un calcul ci doar de o alunecare a zarurilor pe fetrul verde al vie\u0163ii. Al vie\u0163ii tr\u0103ite. Eu am suflu dar nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 mai am vitalitatea de a-mi tr\u0103i via\u0163a.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif;\">Cam asta este, m\u0103i tovar\u0103\u015fi\u00a0! Eu spun s\u0103 \u00eenchidem \u015fedin\u0163a marilor idei interna\u0163ionale, materialist dialectice \u015fi s\u0103 ne retragem pe la casele noastre, de pe dealul comunei natale. [subscribe2]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Da, deciziile mele nu \u0163in mult. Sunt pe fundul butoiului \u015fi str\u00e2ng drojdia. M-am temut s\u0103 postez asta&#8230; dar mi-am amintit c\u0103 acest blog este al meu, numai al meu \u015fi fac ce vreau \u015fi pot cu el. Da, voi redenumi acest blog Blogul Romanului Deprimat \u015fi Deprimant.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blues"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":253,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions\/253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}