{"id":929,"date":"2018-04-21T15:12:54","date_gmt":"2018-04-21T15:12:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/?p=929"},"modified":"2018-04-21T15:12:54","modified_gmt":"2018-04-21T15:12:54","slug":"cand-este-bine-sa-fii-incet-la-minte","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/2018\/04\/21\/cand-este-bine-sa-fii-incet-la-minte\/","title":{"rendered":"C\u00e2nd este bine s\u0103 fii “\u00eencet la minte”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ieri am dat peste o \u0219tire trist\u0103 [ Pute\u021bi s-o citi\u021bi integral aici<\/a> ]. Jeremy Quaile, un b\u0103rbat din Calgary, Alberta, s-a sinucis. Anul trecut c\u00e2inele s\u0103u a fost g\u0103sit mort dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva zile petrecute \u00eenchis \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103. La aflarea \u0219tirii comunitatea internaut\u0103 s-au n\u0103pustit asupra lui cu invective: c\u0103 e\u00a0un idiot, o persoan\u0103 \u00eengrozitoare, un \u201egunoi uman<\/em>\u201d. Degeaba \u00eencerca Jeremy s\u0103 explice c\u0103 nu \u0219tie ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u0219i cum a ajuns c\u00e2inele \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103 \u2013 c\u0103 l-a c\u0103utat peste tot \u0219i a fost foarte trist crez\u00e2ndu-l r\u0103t\u0103cit. N-a fost pus sub acuzare, n-a fost judecat \u00eentr-un tribunal. Doar \u00een Curtea Opiniei Publice. Oamenii buni ai internetului,\u00a0 \u00eens\u0103 \u00eei spuneau c\u0103 mai bine ar muri. \u0218i i-a ascultat. S-a omor\u00e2t.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Shanesha Taylor, poz\u0103 la arestare<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00cent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor, acum dou\u0103-trei zile am urm\u0103rit o buc\u0103\u021bic\u0103 din emisiunea Doctor Phil<\/em>. \u0218i acolo, o femeie fusese arestat\u0103 pentru c\u0103-\u0219i l\u0103sase, \u00eentr-o zi cald\u0103, copiii \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103, nesupraveghea\u021bi. Unul avea 2 ani \u0219i cel\u0103lalt doar opt sau nou\u0103 luni. Ca \u0219i internau\u021bii din cazul precendent, m-am sim\u021bit inundat de furie. Ce mam\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i uit\u0103 copiii \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103? Ce poate justifica asta? Cum \u00eendr\u0103zne\u0219te s\u0103 deschid\u0103 gura, s\u0103 mai apar\u0103 la show-uri TV \u0219i s\u0103 se explice? Dar am ascultat-o. \u0218i am \u00een\u021beles. N-am mai crezut-o monstru iresponsabil, o scursur\u0103 uman\u0103. Shanesha Taylor era practic homeless. Avusese un interviu pentru slujb\u0103 \u2013 \u0219i vedea \u00een asta singura ei \u0219ans\u0103 s\u0103 se redreseze financiar. Vorbise cu o rud\u0103 s\u0103-i \u021bin\u0103 copiii pe durata interviului dar, \u00een ziua stabilit\u0103, ruda a disp\u0103rut. Pentru c\u0103 i se spusese c\u0103 este vorba de un pre-interviu care va dura doar 15 minute, a parcat ma\u0219ina (\u00een care to\u021bi 3 tr\u0103iau), a deschis pu\u021bin geamurile \u0219i s-a dus la interviu. Din nefericire, dup\u0103 primul intervievator, a trebuit s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2lneasc\u0103 cu viitorul ei \u0219ef, apoi cu cineva de la Personal \u2013 \u0219i nu a \u00eendr\u0103znit s\u0103-i \u00eentrerup\u0103 de frica de a nu-\u0219i rata \u0219ansa. Dup\u0103 mai bine de 50 de minute a plecat cu slujba practic \u00een buzunar \u2013 dar \u00een parcare o a\u0219tepta Poli\u021bia. A fost arestat\u0103 \u0219i acuzat\u0103 de \u201epericlitarea copilului<\/em>\/child endangerement<\/em>\u201d. Poza ei de arestare, \u00eenl\u0103crimat\u0103, a fost dat\u0103 la TV. \u0218i totu\u0219i… cineva a v\u0103zut drama lui Shanesha, dilema \u00een care via\u021ba a pus-o:\u00a0 alegerea \u00eentre s\u0103r\u0103cie lucie \u0219i a-\u0219i ocroti copiii. Au pornit o campanie GoFundMe \u0219i au str\u00e2ns peste 100,000$ – mai mul\u021bi bani dec\u00e2t a v\u0103zut vreodat\u0103 \u00een via\u021ba ei \u2013 \u0219i cu ace\u0219ti bani s-a pus pe picioare.<\/p>\n

Dou\u0103 pove\u0219ti tragice: una cu final fericit \u0219i alta cu un final foarte trist.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Oamenii spun multe f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 le g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 bine. Zilele astea, la mod\u0103 este fraza \u201es\u0103 nu judeci<\/em>\u201d. Bine, bine, \u0219i cum faci asta? Avem g\u00e2ndire ca s\u0103 judec\u0103m. Avem un sistem de valori primit de la p\u0103rin\u021bi \u2013 \u0219i, pentru binele societ\u0103\u021bii, trebuie s\u0103-l avem. Acest sistem \u00eemparte lucrurile \u00eentre \u201eBine\u201d \u0219i \u201eR\u0103u\u201d. Dac\u0103 te apleci la miezul cuvintelor \u201es\u0103 nu judeci<\/em>\u201d este la fel de folositor ca un, de exemplu, \u201es\u0103 fii mai \u00eenalt<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n

Marea majoritate a oamenilor, inclusiv subsemnatul, judec\u0103<\/strong>. \u0218i este bine s\u0103 judece pentru c\u0103 de asta avem ra\u021biune. Dar totodat\u0103, teoretizeaz\u0103 studiile psihologice, noi avem dou\u0103 tipuri de judecat\u0103: g\u00e2ndirea rapid\u0103<\/strong> \u0219i g\u00e2ndirea lent\u0103<\/strong>. Fiecare are folosin\u021ba ei. Cea rapid\u0103 ne ajut\u0103 s\u0103 s\u0103rim din calea unui vehicul<\/strong> care ne poate lovi sau s\u0103 intuim pericole imediate. Cea lent\u0103 ne ajut\u0103 s\u0103 analiz\u0103m<\/strong> toate aspectele \u0219i s\u0103 lu\u0103m decizii de termen lung<\/strong>. Aceasta din urm\u0103, cea lent\u0103, este at\u00e2t de taxant\u0103 pentru creier \u00eenc\u00e2t, dac\u0103 ni se pune o \u00eentrebare dificil\u0103 care impune o decizie de termen lung, deseori ne oprim din mers \u2013 creierul nu mai poate func\u021biona pentru nimic altceva dec\u00e2t pentru a procesa \u00eentrebarea.<\/p>\n

Ne-am obi\u0219nuit s\u0103 d\u0103m valoare instantaneului. \u201eModern\u201d \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u201erapid\u201d \u0219i calitatea nu ne mai intereseaz\u0103 at\u00e2t de mult. Dar c\u00e2nd vine vorba s\u0103-i judec\u0103m pe cei de l\u00e2ng\u0103 noi, calitatea judec\u0103\u021bii conteaz\u0103<\/strong>. \u0218i aceast\u0103 calitate nu se poate dob\u00e2ndi dec\u00e2t prin dob\u00e2ndirea tuturor informa\u021biilor, reflec\u021bie ad\u00e2nc\u0103, empatie \u0219i abia ulterior pronun\u021barea sentin\u021belor.\u00a0 Evident c\u0103 exist\u0103 mame denaturate, iresponsabile \u2013 \u0219i mi se pare important s\u0103 fie ru\u0219inate. Evident c\u0103 exist\u0103 cazuri de posesori de animale care nu \u00een\u021beleg c\u0103 \u0219i-au luat o responsabilitate pe via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i trebuie s\u0103 li se aminteasc\u0103 aceasta de c\u0103tre \u201esat\u201d. Dar, c\u00e2nd ve\u021bi judeca – c\u0103 o ve\u021bi face, v\u0103 asigur –\u00a0 \u00eencerca\u021bi s\u0103 judeca\u021bi drept, folosind judecata lent\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen loc s\u0103 repet fraza g\u0103unoas\u0103 \u201enu judeca<\/em>\u201d, propun s\u0103 judec\u0103m a\u0219a cum ar face-o un judec\u0103tor \u2013 cu r\u0103bdare, cu \u00eencetineal\u0103, cu umanitate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri am dat peste o \u0219tire trist\u0103 [ Pute\u021bi s-o citi\u021bi integral aici ]. Jeremy Quaile, un b\u0103rbat din Calgary, Alberta, s-a sinucis. Anul trecut c\u00e2inele s\u0103u a fost g\u0103sit mort dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva zile petrecute \u00eenchis \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103. La aflarea \u0219tirii comunitatea internaut\u0103 s-au n\u0103pustit asupra lui cu invective: c\u0103 e\u00a0un idiot, o persoan\u0103 \u00eengrozitoare,…<\/span><\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[344,343,342,287],"class_list":["post-929","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commentary","category-food-for-thought","tag-homeless-mom","tag-judecata-lenta","tag-judecata-rapida","tag-sinucidere"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=929"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":933,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929\/revisions\/933"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.2link.ca\/newblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}